The “Ok Boomer” Guide to Cannabis and the Hip Happenings of Young Whipper Snappers
The Internet lost its shit when Rep. Matt Gaetz called his fellow Republican Kellyanne Conway “Ok Boomer” in regards to her stance on cannabis. OK Boomer is fairly a new expression, considering it’s only first ever been used in our lexicon since 2015.
As one could surmise, “Ok Boomer” came from the sweaty corners of 4Chan, in which they used the term to respond to a video that claimed millennials had “Peter Pan Syndrome” – meaning, they don’t want to grow up. As a response, the 4Chan community retaliated with an “Ok Boomer” indicating that the complaint comes from a generation that is “out of touch” with modern social conflict, that afflicts younger generations.
And since 2015, the term has been used as a “dismissal of complaint” by millennials, whereas Boomers used the term “Snowflake” to describe the younger generation.
Nonetheless, “The Olds” didn’t like the fact that millennials turned a term, once endeared by the Boomers, into something negative. Of course the mainstream media – with the sole purpose of creating ‘more conflict in the world for the sake of ratings’ – are using these terms and framing it within the context of a “generational war”.
But the fact of the matter is that Baby Boomers, at one point in time…called their parents and grandparents “square”. As to say, not creative and boxed into a conditioned state of being. I mean, if we’re talking about “fighting words”, the term “square” seems a tad bit more aggressive.
Irrespective of the imagined conflict between the “olds” and the “youngs” – I’m extending an olive branch and creating a small guide called “The OK Boomer Guide to Cannabis”. It’s sweet and short – so let’s get to it!
The OK Boomer Guide To Cannabis
Why, hello there old friend! You remember me…”words!” Forget about the screen you’re reading me on, and imagine a simpler time – where I rested elegantly in the fine grooves of paper covered in thick black ink.
Today, we’re going to be talking about a thing that’s happening in the world. I know, it’s a scary thought. Things aren’t what they used to be. The music sucks! And what the hell is up with all of the beards!
Furthermore, you’ve been lied to your entire life. It’s not your fault – the government, the very people we were supposed to trust – swindled us and then lied about it for more than seventy years. Now, suddenly we’re forced to accept that cannabis…no, let’s call it what it is…MARIJUANA is to be legal!!!
Well – whether you like it or not…it is happening. But don’t worry, remember…the government lied to you about cannabis. This means, that what you think it is…it isn’t!
And that’s good news because my dear friends…you need cannabis more than anyone else in society. You’ve been the most deprived from one of the most beneficial plants known to humanity.
In the next three parts, I’ll explain why.
Chapter 1: It’s not Hippy Lettuce – It’s medicine!
The first lie that you’ve been told is that cannabis is a “drug”. Well, that’s not a lie…it is a drug, but so is coffee and sugar and we don’t see anybody going to jail over those things. Of course, the word “drug” has been etched into your subconscious as a “bad thing” due to decades of systemic programming from our sovereign overlords in office.
You remember that smashing novel 1984…well, it happened…at least to some degree. Nonetheless, I’m here to tell you the good news.
Cannabis is a medicine. In fact, your body “needs cannabinoids to function properly”. Cannabinoids are compounds found within the cannabis plant.
You know how you need Vitamin supplements as you get older? Well, the same is true for your own endocannabinoids. As you get older, you produce fewer endocannabinoids. This slows down the healing process and throws your body out of homeostasis.
Most Boomers that begin to use cannabis for health and well-being all say that they “feel younger” after using it. This is because their bodies have been deprived of healthy cannabinoids for decades. Imagine being deprived of vitamin C for your entire life…how would your health be?
Isn’t that marvelous? Finally, there’s an organic plant that is good for your own health and wellness, that you can grow in your backyard. It’s not just medicine…it’s medicine you can grow! It would be a fantastic addition to your vegetable garden.
Chapter 2: Don’t worry, you don’t have to get high
The only reason why you would get high with cannabis is if you consume “activated THC”. I know that “THC” is the new scare word being shoved down your throats.
Just remember: The Government Lied to you before – they still aren’t being honest!
Here’s the thing about THC. THC is a cannabinoid that “can be psychoactive”. However, it ONLY becomes psychoactive when heat is applied. This means that if you don’t apply heat – you can consume as much of it as you’d like and you’d never get high.
And this is good!
However – I argue, why deny the feeling of “euphoria”. We’re led to believe that “it gets you high” is supposed to be a bad thing.
Yes, cannabis does get you high but you’re not out of your senses. Rather, the “euphoria” is very mild and pleasant. Why would medicine that makes you feel good be a bad thing?
Furthermore, the euphoria also provides medical relief and can “lift your spirits” and bring some laughter back in your life.
Why not experience happiness, even if it is partly because of a plant you are smoking. But, for those of you who still don’t want to “feel high”, you can always just consume the cannabis oils – and you’ll get all the benefits except the euphoria.
Chapter 3: No Society Won’t Crumble
If there is one thing that we have seen throughout the entire scope of legalization – society has not crumbled as was predicted by anti-drug campaigns. The implementation of the cannabis industry has been fairly smooth, and it has had a direct impact on reducing violence and creating new jobs.
Millions of people are finding relief, millions of people are making a living, it is less dangerous than tobacco and alcohol. It doesn’t make people violent. It doesn’t make people stupid.
While it’s “stronger”, it doesn’t have to be stronger. People find strains that work for them. It’s far more complicated than “what the government told me”. There is a deep nuance to cannabis consumption and roughly half of the United States’ adult population (that’s 100+ million people) have admitted to smoking cannabis at one point in their lives. The world is still intact!
Just relax. Everything is going to be fine. In fact, life (if you choose) can get a whole lot better from this moment on.
Chapter 4: You Deserve to be happy!
In this final chapter, I’d like to invite you to try something new. There was a time, not too long ago when you were saying “Ok Boomer” to what you perceived to be “outdated ideas”. You were right! In the case of cannabis, these millennial whipper snappers actually are doing the world a great service by legalizing and legitimizing cannabis.
It’s a step in the right direction and as a result, the new medicines that will be developed will increase your quality of life. It will give you a new perspective on your existence and allow you to get rid of expensive “drugs” prescribed by your doctors, and substitute it with something that has evolved over millions of years to fit with your genetic make-up and help you maintain good health and wellness.
Why not choose happy.
And when all is said and done…We all know that you’re old enough to not give a shit what anybody has to say about you. So fuck this “OK Boomer” shit, light up some of that sticky and start enjoying life!